Here's to the Night

This is it. Barb is gone. My room is nearly bare now, as I sit here typing this and it is all hitting me so hard. There are so many mixed emotions running through me. I like the idea of being back at my house again, I am so excited for all of the possibilities the summer holds, but I do not want to go because it means that this year is ending. Settling into a new room next year will be fun, but I hate that I will not be back in this room, with my silly suite mates, and all the amazing girls of 3rd floor. I am so glad that Barb will be my roomie again, and Nancy, welcome. It's gonna be boss.

Whenever I would talk to my mother about what a drag high school was and how much I just wanted to get on with life she would tell me that she always felt that way too. Just wait till college, that turned it all around for her. She loved college, and she assured me that I would too. As much as I dreaded the thought of 4 more years of school, that made me look forward to it.

You were right mom.
One down, three to go, and I cannot believe it is already gone. I am packing up things I could swear I just unpacked. I never expected anything that this year has held. None of us could have.

To all of my dearest friends, we have been through a lot in these past eight months.
You know how much of an understatement that is.
We got through it, and we can get through anything as long as we hold on to each other. Look at how strong we are now.
I love you all, more than you may ever know.

Here's to the nights we stayed up till all hours
laughing till we fell over
falling asleep on our homework
holding each other as we cried

I have lived here for almost 8 years. This campus has gone from a foreign new world, to my playground, then I got a license and found other places I would rather hang out. This year it became my home in an entirely new way. This place is more dear to me now than it ever has been. I love it here.

Ashlyn called the song for this one. It really is perfect.
In just a few hours, I will finish packing my car.
turn in my keys.
flip the light switch one last time.
goodbye hugs.

Freshmen Year of College - check



"So denied so I lied are you the now or never kind
In a day and a day love I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing to be had are you cool with just tonight
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Put your name on the line along with place and time
Wanna stay not to go I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon"

(Eve 6)

Talk

"Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me"

Talking is a funny thing.
I do it a lot, but most of the time I don't really want to. I am talking, and thinking "what am I saying? Why am I saying this?" I think it is because what I really want is for people to talk to me, and I try to get them to by talking first. It's kind of a nervous thing I think. Quiet people make me so nervous, because I will just talk, waiting for the other person to say something, rather than have silence. So I say things, stupid things, repetitive things...
Word Vomit

"So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or a write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done
Do something that's never been done"

My favorite thing is when people tell me what is on their mind, what is going on in their lives. Feeling trusted, feeling like I am needed, feeling like there is a balance in a friendship...it is amazing.

My problem is that I try to be everyone's best friend. I just love to get into people's lives. I love to make people happy, I love to help people, I love to be a friend. The problem is that sometimes people just will not let you in. I try and try, but sometimes it is just to straining to give and give without getting back anything. There needs to be a balance. Effort from both sides.

"So you don't know were you're going, and you wanna talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
You tell anyone who'll listen but you feel ignored
Nothing's really making any sense at all
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk "

Thank you Adam, for balancing it out.


(Coldplay)

When It's Over

"When you go go go
I know it never ends, never ends"

Down to the last four days

The year may end, but I know that our friendships never will

(Sugar Ray)

City Lights

My sister and I had a horrible time w/ the trains today.
When are they gonna get done w/ this red line construction!?
Well, it was fun anyway. Hangin around Belmont. We went to Clarke's for lunch, of course.
Hit the Alley and Ragstock.
My favorite time to be out is night, when all the lights out.

(Before Summer Ends)

Chicago

I am going to Chicago for the weekend w/ my family!

(Sufjan Stevens)

She Bangs

Deanna cut my hair.
I now have bangs.
Never had bangs before.
Just another step on my way to the Jenny Lewis hairstyle.
Since 6th grade my hair has gotten shorter and shorter, but now I'm growing it out.
Exciting.

So, there have not been many pictures of my art... or any pictures at all really...
I have no time.
I will go back and add later.

(Ricky Martin)

Sparkle Pop

This is my entry for The Next Big Thing contest on FredFlare.com. It is a set of 6 buttons/pins (1") neatly packaged in a casette tape case. I did all of the graphic work myself on Adobe Illustrator. If it is chosen, I get to make bunches of them and they will be available to order from FredFlare.com.

What do you think? Would you buy this?

(Fred Flare)

She Has No Time

Everything has to be squeezed into the next two weeks.

Scratch that -

10 days



(Keane)

Swing, Swing

Once again I have been away from posting. I was off living and such...
I have been yearning to play on a swing for weeks and today was perfect for it.
I was stressed out by schoolwork, feeling restless, Adam's prescription was to go and do something I liked that didn't require so much of my effort. I said there was no time.

It was gorgeous out, then I remembered the swingset outside.
So I grabbed Hannah and Nick and headed for the playground.

I don't think I ever enjoyed it more.
Perhaps because I never needed it more.
It was so relaxing to feel the wind on my face and let it play with my hair.
Some times the simple things are the best solutions to life's problems.

(All American Rejects)

Distraction

There is a building
there is a room
the room has orange chairs lined up against the walls. I think they are waiting for something. I just don't know what.

I need to spend more time here.

(Angels & Airwaves)

Bad Day

In case you didn't realize it, this is spring time...
Today it snowed.

I don't really try to hang on to anything from my design class, and there didn't seem to be much reason to. Then, today I found out that we need drawings from an old project to use for our next project. I can't find them anywhere. I may have to start over.

"It's been a bad day
please don't take a picture..."



(R.E.M.)

Beauty Queen

Some very close friends came for Easter.
My "God-sister" had a lot of fun w/ photo booth and some toy glasses...


(Lash)

Sleeping In

Me: I love my bed.

Barb: I love my bed too. We don't spend enough time together.


I didn't have to get up till 9:30 this morning. No digital tools today. Happy Easter! I am done w/ class till monday.

"I never fall back to sleep," I said. "It seems like a dangerous thing to do. A whole day of life is like a whole day of television. TV never goes off the air once it starts for the day, and I don't either. At the end of the day the whole day will be a movie. A movie made for TV."

~Andy Warhol~

Official countdown: 16 days until the last day of class.
I can not wait for a break
but,
I do not want to pack up my room.

Barbie, it just will not be the same without you this summer. I am so glad that we will be rooming together again next year.

(The Postal Service)

I Disappear

There is a song for everything.

If you look back at my last two posts, they have song titles.
My Standard break from life - Alkaline Trio
Modern Way - Kaiser Cheifs
I think that I will keep with this theme. (Just like One Tree Hill, Ashlyn!)
I disappear - The Faint

Well, I disappeared for a while there... sorry
Sometimes life just takes over everything.

My birthday came and went. Thank you to everyone who made it one of the best ever.
I spent it in my favorite place, naturally - Chicago.
Adam has been working on some great photos from the day. Keep it up kid!

The picture today is once again from my digital tools class. It is a "self portrait" collage done using adobe illustrator and photoshop. I make collages all the time, but never like this. I really enjoyed it. I am entering this in the student art competition. We shall see how that goes...

Reading From A to B is even better the second time around. I just love Andy Warhol. He is so funny and I just want to cover my walls in quotes from this book. Like this one:

"People should fall in love with their eyes closed. Just close your eyes. Don't look."

Hard to do. We are always looking aren't we? I try not to, but no matter what, there always seems to be someone to look at. I want to close my eyes. I want to let God run things, after all it is his job, right? I am too afraid. It feels like life is a staring contest. If I blink, I lose.